THE BEAST IN THE GREY BOX

"Here, do you want a Playstation?"

"What’s that?"

"A Sony Playstation. For playing games. We don’t need it any more. There’s a few games with it as well."

"Err, no thanks."

"Why not?"

"I’ve seen those things, little grey boxes with handsets and wires that clutter up the space round the television. Anyway I hate computer games, they’re the antithesis of everything I stand for as a classic toy dealer."

"But what about Little Pete?"

"He won’t want it either."

"Don’t you think you should ask him?"

"OK. Hey Little Pete, do you want a Playstation? For playing games?"

"Um…nah"

"Why not?"

"Got a Gameboy, and I play games on the computer. Don’t need a Playstation."

"Well that sorts that out then. We don’t want it, but thanks for offering."

A few days later…

"What’s in that bag?"

"Oh, it’s the Playstation, you might as well have it anyway. We don’t want anything for it, it’s just cluttering up our place."

"Thanks, it’s cluttering up my place now."

"Try it out, it’s easy to get it working, just plug it in to the telly."

"Hmmm…"

The following week…

"I set the Playstation up for Little Pete."

"What did he think of it?"

"Well, you wouldn’t believe how competitive he is. He got into a right strop because I lapped him a few times. He even accused me of practising while he’s at school. Actually that driving game’s not bad but I’m having a bit of trouble progressing through the championship stage. I nearly got enough points last time but I over-egged it on the straight at Donington and spun off again. Also I managed to lose my bonnet in a smash. That was fun but it’s only happened once. I can’t decide whether it’s better to brake and slide through the corners or is it quicker to slow down and drift out the back-end coming out on the straight?"

"Sliding’s not good, you only do that with the off road rally cars because you have to. Would you mind turning the sound down a bit?"

"Oh, sorry. I’d have to admit this can get a bit addictive."

"Are you feeling okay? You look a bit tired and dishevelled, like you’ve been up all night?"

"Oh no, I need my beauty sleep. I’ve been in bed by four every morning without fail. You know, these old consoles still work fine. Apparently the graphics are better on the PS2 but it doesn’t make as much difference as you’d think. Did you ever have one of those steering wheel things? I think that might be why I’m having problems on the corners. I could do with a second handset as well."

"A secondhand set?"

"No, a second handset. So Little Pete can race at the same time and learn from the maestro. And I need a memory card to store my profile. I’m surprised there isn’t one built in. You know these things could be quite collectable one day. You don’t mind if I just finish this tournament do you?"

The following week…

"Have you progressed to Brands Hatch yet?

"NO I HAVEN’T. To be honest I’ve had more important things on my mind. Mrs Pete has been a bit short with me lately, and that was before I rolled the car three times."

"Ah well, it’s only a game."

"No, not the Playstation car. I forgot where I was and rolled her Golf on the way out of the village. Those computer games can really affect your driving technique. I’m not surprised kids are stealing cars and driving like maniacs these days. Here you are."

"What’s that?"

"Your Playstation, I’m sticking to real toys from now on."

www.swapmeetpete.com